


Alphastuck

by Kiracles



Series: Species Swap Session [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, And they're watching the humans play sburb, F/F, F/M, Game session, Gen, It's an amazing idea and I'll add more to this list and more to these tags as I work on the thing, M/M, SBURB/SGRUB, Species Swap, The humans are trolls and the trolls are humans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 06:12:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1734038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiracles/pseuds/Kiracles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A group of kids, all held together by mutual friendship and a few fucked up family relations, all decide to play a game together.<br/>And there's aliens.<br/>Doesn't this seem just a bit too familiar?<br/>...<br/>Well, pay no mind, and brush that déjà vu aside, because this is a brand new session!</p><p>- This is a species swap session Kankri's group are all kids, and the alpha kids are trolls. Yes. It does mirror homestuck a bit, but it IS a session, and I hope that as the plot continues I will move farther and farther and farther away from canon! -</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Names of those who appear in the chapter are!  
> Coen Ampora  
> Roxxie Lalonde  
> Mita Captor  
> Tula Pyrope  
> More to be introduced later!!

Coen sat in front of his computer, completely bored. Mena had logged off (or went invisible – Coen wasn’t 100% sure) Anea was reading, Kann studying, and Mita was talking to Tula, which crossed bath of them off the list. Coen idly scrolled through his chum list, seeing who he could chat with. Lynn was a babe, but Karl was online, so that was a fuck no. Dara was also online, but she was also another fuck no. A huge hell fucking no, actually – the babe was scary. Coen continued to scroll. Up, down, up, down. Maybe Russ, Coen debated, his cursor hovering over the blue chumhandle, the guy was a bit odd for Coen’s tastes, but he was also nice enough to talk to Coen, which put the guy right back in his tastes (of course, it didn’t hurt that the guy was from a high-class family, too). Rufi was offline, as was Pora, which left…

No one. No one at all. Coen sighed and got ready to double-click Russ’s name when a chat window popped up. What?

\-- tetraGadidae [TG] began pestering canorousAcipenser  [CA] -–

Caen squinted at the name – tetraGadidae. No one he had ever heard of. Wasn’t tetra a type of fish? Some sort of fish enthusiast? By the time he was ready to reply, there was already a few lines of pink text.

TG: woah, lookit this  
TG: iM actshelly doing this  
TG: d is going 2 be so disapproving but i dont give a glub (:c  
CA: whoa, whoa, whos this in the pink?  
TG: her royal highness, heriess to the throne  
TG: but you can jus call Me roxxie (:c  
CA: hey, nice name, babe. want me to call you princess?  
CA: didnt know heiresses were allowed to use the web, honey.  
TG: lMao  
TG: so you Minnow about that gaMe  
CA: that thing that tulas been going on about for months on end, or?  
TG: probubbly  
TG: i just want to say: that gaMe?  
TG: play it  
TG: do it  
TG: its a v good idea  
TG: the best idea  
TG: a.... fintastic idea lol  
CA: i dont plays games, but just to follow along with such a pink babe, yeah?  
CA: where are you from, new york? you sound like a swell city girl.  
TG: lMao  
TG: iM froM alternia  
CA: wheres that, canada? swell.  
TG: i have no clue what canada is  
TG: but i was set to be eMpress of alternia  
TG: and then it blew up  
TG: ):c  
CA: empress, thats gotta be italy, then. sounds just around jive, doll.  
TG: alternia is a planet.

Coen ran his hand through his hair, grinning and nodding. Even if the babe was crazy, she was still a babe. 

TG: also u can also stop fixing your hair, it jus looks p silly when you dont Minnow that i can sea you  
TG: O:c  
TG: unless, you KNOW i can sea you  
CA: vwait what you cant see me, im not doing a thing like that.  
TG: you are  
CA: thats really weird, rox babe.  
TG: you just did it again  
CA: spying on a fella or something?  


Coen froze with his hand in his hair, eyes shifting from side to side. There wasn’t anything out of place (although even if there was, he wouldn’t be able to see it without his glasses), so he figured she was just bluffing.

CA: vwait what you cant see me, im not doing a thing like that.  
TG: you are  
CA: thats really weird, rox babe.  
TG: you just did it again  
CA: spying on a fella or something?  
CA: stop that.

He figured that it wouldn’t hurt to walk over a close his window, maybe pull the blinds, and when he came back he saw a blurry pink line of text. He moved closer to find out what it was, and when the words came into focus, Coen frowned. This was a weird fucking joke and he wasn’t happy with it.

TG: iM not looking thru ur window you dont have 2 close it  
CA: howv the hell are you doing that? stop that, its weird, babe.

Coen stood up and walked over to his closet, shutting it and making sure he heard the click before he turned back to his desk. Another line of fuzy pink text made him pause. Fuck.

TG: iM not in your closet eeeeeither (:c  
CA: how in the HELL are you doing that?  
TG: iM not within your hive or lawnring AT ALL! O:c  
CA: a what and a vwhat now?  
TG: hive: recipicle where u live  
TG: lawnring: ares thats urs surrounding your hive  
TG: and i told u: i can sea you, dummy  
CA: thats house and yard.  
CA: and okay, ill bite, but HOW.  
TG: saMe dif  
TG: thru My coMp  
TG: i have one of the BEST husktops ever  
CA: wheres the camera, what the hell.  
CA: a what now?  
TG: fit for a queen (:<c  
CA: what are you speaking, are you australian?  
CA: yeah, i think you might be. that makes sense.  
TG: iM ALTERNIAN  
TG: ):<c  
CA: are you alternian australian, though? i can see it, and you know what they say about aussie girls.  
TG: ALTERNIAN!!!!!  
TG: FRO/\/\ ALTERNIA.  
TG: THE PLANET.  
TG: )))):<c  
CA: alternia girls, then, you know what they say about alternia girls.  
TG: L/\/\AO  
TG: like My ass is OFF  
TG: goodbye ass  
CA: what? theres still no other planet, babe, but youre from alternia. or something?  
TG: no there is  
TG: theres /\/\ILLIONS  
TG: at LEAST  
TG: soooooooo Many planets  
TG: i eel duMber for hearing you say that, tbh  
CA: well, theres only supposed to be life on this one, babe.  
TG: ell  
TG: eM  
TG: ay  
TG: OFF  
TG: sorry its gone 4ever  
TG: d is givin Me weird looks  
TG: nope, nvM, every1 is giving Me weird looks for how hard i aM laughing  
CA: well, alright then, but theres usually only life on this one.  
CA: unless youre from outerspace.  
CA: because i bet your ass is out of this world.  
TG: bingo!  
TG: alien as all fuck  
CA: well, guess you are out of this world, then. 

He was on a roll now. Go Coen. A+. He did it. The babe totally digged him. Coen ran his hand through his hair again, grinning and nodding to himself.

TG: oh rite  
TG: lookin at the thing  
CA: looking at what thing?  
TG: My tiMe talkin to you ends  
TG: ...................  
TG: NOW!

\-- tetraGadidae [TG] ceased pestering canorousAcipenser [CA] \--

CA: dammit.

\-- canorousAcipenser  [CA] ceased pestering tetraGadidae  [TG] \--

The girl (Alien?) logged off.

Coen sat back in his chair, dragging a hand through his hair and sparing a glance around his room. This was new. This was brand new, and Coen had no idea how to react to this. Does he tell his dad? Call the government?

He quickly got rid of that idea with a shake of the head. No. Hell no. He can see the headlines now: Son of Wealthy Family – Has He Gone Crazy?: Says “Aliens talked to me on a chat client!”

Nope. Not going to do that. No matter how handsome he would look on the front page.

This left only one option, especially since one of the babes logged off. Coen needed to talk about this to someone, and he was right there, and the kid loved aliens, right?

Coen physically paused as he considered this. Mita liked video games, and those things had aliens in them. Or, he thought they did. Caen actually never played video games. Well, not any of the games Mita or Tula played.

What’s the worst that could happen? He had to deal with the l337 speak? Mita thought he was dumb or making shit up for attention? It wasn’t any worse than a normal conversation or what Mita normally thought of him. So vwhat the hell.

With that settled, Coen double-clicked Mita’s name.

\-- canorousAcipenser  [CA] began pestering twifoldAgonist [TA]  \--

TA: wh47 d0 y0U w4n7.  
CA: ive got something real important to talk about, chief.  
TA: 1m 2Ur3 y0U d0.  
CA: cmon, drop the numbers, its just a casual thing.  
CA: vwell, not casual, pretty important if im saying so myself.  
TA: 1 d0n7 h4v3 4 clU3 wh47 y0Ur3 74lk1n9 4b0U7.  
TA: 1m pr377y 2Ur3 7h323 4r3 n07 nUmb3r2 4t 4ll.  
CA: thats because i havent explained it yet, geeze chief.  
CA: yeah yeah, sure theyre not, and im a fish.  
TA: 47 l3427 y0U 4dm17 17.  
CA: anyway, youre getting me off topic, and thats not the point here.  
TA: wh472 7h3 p01n7 7h3n?  
CA: so, some babe talked to me on pesterchum, yknow?  
TA: bUll2h17.  
CA: i mean, a usual thing, im a pretty swell fella, any babed want me.  
TA: d0Ubl3 bUll2h17.  
CA: vwow, thats real rude of you, chief, i cant believe how youd wound me like that.  
TA: k33p 901n9 b3f0r3 1 r3m3mb3r 1 h4v3 07h3r 7h1n92 70 d0.  
CA: im torn up over this, chief, youve gotta listen to me for five seconds.  
CA: so, babe talks to me, starts spouting some wild jive talk about what she is and doing.  
TA: 20 y0Ur3 74lk1n9 70 m3 4b0U7 7h12 b3c4U23 y0U h4d 4 cr4zy 91rl 74lk 70 y0U?  
TA: y0U 2h0Uld 7ry f0r 17. 1m pr377y 2Ur3 2h32 7h3 0nly 91rl wh0 w1ll w1ll1n9ly ch47 w17h y0U.  
CA: nah, not crazy, pretty sure she had all her faculties and jazz.  
TA: "pretty sure".  
CA: and hey, she sounded like a babe, any guy or dolld love to have me.  
TA: lm40.  
CA: thing is, she said she was an alien.  
CA: were talking plan 9 from outer space here.  
TA: 4941n: cr4zy ch1ck, r19h7.  
CA: nah, chief, listen to me for a second, geeze.  
CA: like, i dont believe her personally, but she was pretty convincing about it.  
TA: 1 2h0Uld cl023 7h3 cl13n7 n0w bU7 1 h473 my23lf JU27 3n0U9h 70 c0n71nU3.  
CA: gosh, chief, you cant just leave a fella alone with all these confusing things going on.  
TA: 4nd y0U b3l13v3 2h32 4n 4l13n.  
CA: no, no, im not a wackjob, chief. but she said some reasonable things.  
CA: thing is, she wanted me to play that thing youve been blabbin about for like, three years.  
CA: the game thing, yknow.  
TA: 7w0 4nd 4 h4lf. 17 w42 0nly f1r27 74lk3d 4b0U7 7w0 4nd 4 h4lf y34r2 490.  
TA: 4nd 17 0nly 233m3d l1k3 17 w0Uld b3 d3c3n7 l427 y34r.  
CA: yeah yeah, whatever. you say potato i say potato.  
TA: 7h47 12 7h3 dUmb327 7h1n9 70 7yp3 0U7.  
TA: 4nd 4n "4l13n" 70ld y0U 70 pl4y 2bUrb.  
CA: well, some babe talking about how she was from some place in alternia did.  
CA: apparently its not in the midwest like i thought.  
CA: and also shes apparently a rich empress type.  
CA: probably more of a cracked egg than i thought, but hey, she dug me.  
TA: c0n9r472.  
TA: 4 cr4zy br04d d192 y0U.  
TA: 42 1f. "2h32" pr0b4bly 20m3 70 y34r 0ld m4n b3h1nd 4 2h177y f1r3w4ll.  
CA: nah, chief, she kinda rang true with what she was going on about.  
CA: and why would some geezer want me to play some dumb game, yknow?  
TA: b3c4U23 h32 4l20 901n9 70 pl4y 20m3 dUmb 94m3.  
TA: 0r h3 w4n72 70 pwn y0Ur dUmb422.  
CA: drop the numbers and lingo, chief, i can barely get an ounce of what youre jabbering.  
CA: besides that she sounded pretty legit, but like, cant be an alien.  
CA: she used puns though.  
TA: 91v3 m3 0n3 900d r3420n.  
TA: n0, 7w0.  
CA: well, she said she could see what i was doing, and then followed up and got it right.  
CA: and also i havent been kidnapped by some guy in a mask so im taking her word for it.  
TA: 1 m34n7 70 dr0p 7h3 l337 2p34k.  
TA: n07 7h3 r3420n2 y0U 7h1nk 7h12 cr4zy b17ch 12 l3917.  
CA: what the fuck is a 13917.  
CA: because i can hardly understand a thing youre saying and the numbers are an eyesore.  
TA: legit. th4t w4s 0bv10U2ly l3917.  
TA: 4l20 7h023 4r3 2h177y r3420n2.  
CA: can vwe get back onto the topic of how im becoming the next protagonist of invasion of the body snatchers.  
TA: 1f 0nly.  
CA: except maybe like, the version where he ends up with the hot babe at the end.  
CA: okay, but yeah, she could see what i was doing and got it right.  
CA: and kept using all this weird slang.  
CA: i checked, she wasnt australian or anything.  
TA: 0h my 90d.  
TA: 2l4n9 d032n7 m34n 4U27r4l14n. 1m pr377y 2Ur3 th4t2 rac127.  
TA: 4l20 172 c4ll3d c4m3r42.  
CA: chief, nobody heads into my room but me.  
CA: i make sure of it, geeze.  
TA: 0f c0Ur23 y0U d0.  
TA: 4nd y0Ur w3bc4m l19h7 12 0n r19h7 n0w.  
TA: b3c4U23 17 w42 20 h4rd 70 937 1n.  
CA: slow down with that shit, im talking and im telling you, something was up.  
CA: like, i dont believe in aliens, thatd be silly, but somethings up.  
TA: 2Ur3 17 w42.  
TA: 20 l37 m3 937 7h12 4ll 70g37h3r.  
TA: y0U h4d 4 cr4zy b17ch wh0 m322493d y0U, 24y1n9 2h3 w42 4n 4l13n, 4nd w4n73d y0U 70 pl4y 2bUrb.  
CA: well, she didnt say she was alien, she said she was alternian first.  
TA: 12 7h3r3 r34lly 4 d1ff3r3nc3?  
TA: 4nyw4y, 2h3 4l20 70ld y0U 2h17 4b0U7 y0Ur r00m 4nd wh47 y0U w3r3 d01n9.  
CA: yeah, thats basically the gist of the jazz, chief.  
TA: 20 y0U 7h1nk 172 4l13n2.  
CA: nah, chief, im not cracked, i dont think aliens are a thing.  
CA: i think theres something funny about it, though.  
TA: ...  
TA: 1m 901n9 70 90.  
CA: chief, cmon, you cant just leave a fella alone to suffer like that.  
TA: 1 h4v3 70 90.  
CA: vwell then, chief, if youve just gotta.  
TA: l473r.

\-- twifoldAgonist [TG] ceased pestering canorousAcipenser [CA]  \--


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terezmom is the best mom, obviously.  
> And Tula is a damned good girlfriend.  
> Basically Pyropes are the best.

Mita frowned, biting and chewing on his lip. His thoughts ran through his mind at high speeds. Too fast. He couldn’t begin to make sense of it, so he tried to think about the things he knew he knew, before he gained a migraine trying to figure out what he didn’t know. Coen said there were aliens, and he even seemed unsure about it, even going straight out to say he didn't believe in aliens. Which meant Coen was in the dark as well, if there was a dark. So that left someone else trying to prank him into... what? Playing the game? Or there was the possibility of there being actual aliens, who were talking to _Coen_ , of all people.

Mita could feel a headache starting, at the front of his head, working its way back. He needed to talk to someone, and Karl had gone offline somewhere in the course of the conversation between Mita and Coen. Luckily Tula was still online, which meant he at least had someone to talk with. He brought up their chat window again, finding a chunk of teal that she left while he went AFK.

GC: which is weird, but i guess thatz how that happenz.  
GC: anyway, pora should probably be back by now, im pretty sure sewing doesnt take THAT long.  
GC: keeping a radgrl like me waiting, hella rude.  
GC: ...  
GC: babe?  
GC: oh my god, now youre doing it too.  
GC: SO LAME.  
GC: wow, sorry, hold up.  
GC: S0 L4M3!  
GC: nah babez, i know you said you were tired, so i hope – for your sake – that you went to take a nap or something.  
GC: night! love you!  
GC: <3  
TA: n0, im st1ll h3r3.  
TA: 74lk1n9 70 cr.  
GC: flirtfail? seriously?  
GC: is he still trying to hit on you???  
TA: 1f h3 w42n7 2om3th1ng w0Uld b3 wr0ng. h4v3 y0U 3v3n 233N m3?  
TA: bU7 7ha72 n07 7h3 p01n7.  
GC: of course! you are SKADZ of hot, radboy. ;]  
GC: either way, what IS the point?  
GC: also, babez, you can drop the l337.  
TA: y0U c4n dr0p th3 z33s.  
GC: done! <3  
TA: AND the slang.  
GC: :[  
GC: fine. what did coen say?  
TA: he said he talked to an alien.  
GC: WH4T???  
TA: okay if i cant l337 you cant l337.  
GC: >:[  
GC: *WHAT???  
GC: there, mr. grump.  
GC: now tell me about coen and aliens.  
TA: he said an alien talked to him. via pchum.  
GC: and???? its another attention thing right? dont worry about it.  
TA: well i think so.  
TA: but at the same time HE thinks its fake, but he thought it was real enough to tel me about it, which means it might be real, i guess. but then you also hae to thingk about aliens first contacts being with COEN AMPORA out of eeryone on earth and this is all just a lot of parts to it and im not sure which parts are true and which parts are going to be liea and theres also the fact of ALIENS USING PESTERCHUM TO CONTACT COEN AMPORA.  
GC: wow.  
GC: okay.  
GC: babe. please.  
GC: take a few deep breaths.  
GC: calm down.  
GC: you dont have to figure it all out right now.  
TA: sorry.  
GC: nah, its okay babe. just chill down, alright?  
TA: sorry.  
GC: sh, no, its fine.  
GC: take some deep breaths babe. fibonacci sequence for a sec, focus on something else.  
GC: it isnt something youre gonna have to worry about for at least a week, if it does involve the game.  
GC: so dont stress yourself out over it for now, alright babe?  
TA: sorry, tula.  
GC: again, its okay. no ones upset with you, other than yourself, and you better tell yourself that your girlfriend is going to get really mad someones getting upset with her rad as hell boyfriend.  
TA: ...  
GC: yeah no, that stopped making sense somewhere in there.... :/  
GC: but the POINT is! dont worry about it.  
GC: chillax mita! the game comes out in... 160 hours so you should just focus on that.  
GC: not on coen and his probably not aliens.  
GC: cr is hella lame anyway. :P  
TA: youre right.  
GC: >:]  
TA: no need to brag, wow.  
GC: hehe! anyway, you should nap! you talked about it earlier.  
TA: right.  
TA: ill do that.  
TA: night.  
GC: n1gh7!! >:P  
GC: <3  
TA: <3  
\-- twifoldAgonist [TA] has logged off --

 

Tula sat back in her chair, looking up at her ceiling and thinking about Mita’s freakout. He was obviously really upset by this whole ‘alien’ thing. Her fan was on, so as she idly stared above her, a dragon slowly swayed. When she was little, her mom got a ridiculous amount of stuffed dragons in garish colors and hung them from Tula’s ceiling with fishing wire.

She can still remember sitting on her bed (having been banished there only moments before by running around the room, loudly voicing her concerns) watching as her tiny, blind mother on a ladder hung brightly colored dragon plushes from her ceiling. Her mom spoke the entire time, telling her about each dragon and what they did.

“Now, Tula. This one is for protection.” Her mom sat on the top of the ladder, tying a string from the neck to the tail. Her fingers moved quickly as her blind eyes almost seemed to watch Tula, “She will do her best to make sure nothing harms you. Anything she can’t handle, I will.” Her mom had grinned at her before grabbing another dragon, this one bright red. “And this one,” her hands wandered across the body, seeing which one it was. When she recognized it, she smiled. “This one has been in our family for generations. My grandmother brought it with her from China.” She tied this one a bit more carefully, “It’s for luck.”

“Now this one,” Her mom grinned again, grabbing a more western dragon, “He helps crops.” Tula opened her mouth to speak, they lived in an apartment, but was interrupted, “But he’s pretty, so I’m adding him anyway.”

Tula was convinced her mom was going to fall and die, and that she would have to call 911 and say that her mom died hanging dragons and then she would get in trouble because _everyone_ knows you don’t let your blind mom on ladders and then who would make Tula weird pancakes and make up awesome bedtime stories? **No one.** That’s who.

Of course, her mom didn’t die. And Tula’s ceiling was decorated with hanging dragons for the next 10 years. A few fell, of course, but things happen, and not all dragons last the test of time. Tula reached her arm up, almost as if she believed she could touch her protection dragon (who she named Pyral), before she let her arm fall to the armrest once more.

Tula realized she spent the last 10 minutes thinking of dragons rather than aliens. Her mom would be proud. Either way, she figured, it would be another week before the game was out anyway, so why worry about it?

...

Of course, that didn’t mean she couldn’t talk to Pora about it…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knows what I'm doing here.  
> I only vaguely do.  
> It's gonna be great.  
> I'm going to try to get out another chapter today, because this isn't hitting my word limit and I need that 2,000 a day limit.

**Author's Note:**

> This will get so much more exciting later, I swear. Game hasn't even started yet, and Mita still needs to talk to his girlfriend. (And also, Mita is basically the only human to type with a "quirk", and it's an eyesore because he is an asshole. He just really likes l337 speak, and also is totally kind of an asshole.)  
> As I can see it right now, the game will actually START at about chapter 5, but I'm going to make chapters longer or shorter so this will probably change.  
> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
